Away Achings

The “away achings” are different then the “Bad Bamenda Days” when you hate the deep potholes and you feel entitled to a hot shower and you are sick of squashing ants even though you just sprayed the whole house and it stinks. When you can’t even communicate a deep thought with someone who speaks the same language. When the fridge breaks and the car needs work for the fourth time this month.

It’s different from the “remember when” days when you reminisce about life before.  “Remember when mom used to say ‘fine, eat a hunka munka cheese and a glass of milk’ when we didn’t like the meal” (now those are treats) or “remember when we use to squirt whipped cream in our mouth”.  Or “remember when we use to do gymnastics, and piano, and soccer”. Or when we say “remember how big our house was and how we played Wii all the time”. Or “remember when I drove 25 mph and thought it was slow”.

No, the “away achings” are worse.  They creep up most around family issues.  “What, we can’t be there for the graduation”.   Really, the “baby” will be two when I meet her”. It comes strongest with death.  How can I not be there when Betty’s mom dies, when Jennifer’s mom dies, when Jan’s mom dies?  There is just the cold email to relay my love or a fragmented skype call.

Where is the meal, the hug, the quiet time of tears? To be there during the months that follow to just be there and they know you know how hard it is.  When the wretched word “Hospice” appears on my computer screen” and I want to pack my bags and head out on the next flight home.

It hurts. It tears away in your stomach and in your heart. My tears well up at the smallest thing and I long for home.  I trust God, and know we are meant to be here.  But we give up things to come here.  It is not the “things” we give up, but the intimacy with those we love. Two years has gone by in a blink, but it is a long time to be away from loved ones.

-Joy

Hellos And Goodbyes

We have been here for just over two years and we have met so many new friends from many parts of the world.

Last month we said good bye to Melissa, a short term Missionary that we came to love dearly. She worked at an Orphanage nearby. I love her candor and her willingness to persevere through changing and washing cloth diapers and enduring flies and chicken feces.

We also said goodbye to Sr. Immaculate. She lived next door and her sweet smile always brightened up my day. She is being transferred to Douala to teach at an Elementary School.

But we also say Hello to Sr. Odette who moved in next door on the right where Sr. Immaculate left from. She will be working at St. Blaise Hospital right here on the compound.

We also say hello to two lovely girls, Therese and Geraldine, who moved into the staff residence adjacent to us on the left. It is really just a container with electricity, with no water or toilet. They will assist the Sisters with household chores.  They are teenagers from remote villages who have come to get an education.  One goes to high school during the day, the other in the evenings. They are delightful girls and they seem to enjoy how “odd we white man are”.  They love to ask us questions.  Yesterday Therese asked if we would bring our goat, Ruthie, back to America with us. I just love having the company of women during the day.

There are also two young girls here short term. Georgia (18) is from the UK and Heidi (22) from my home town Norwich VT. I enjoy being able to be a safe haven that they can come to when they feel overwhelmed. Heidi likes to come once or twice a week for a hot shower and use the internet.  She is a Christian Scientist, so I am learning a bit more about her religion.

We also say ‘hello” to Nestor’s girlfriend who moved here from their village near Kumbo. They are in the engagement process with the two families so I am learning more about how it works here. Last week he went and met her family; this week the two families will meet for a formal gathering. Here, after the engagement there will be three weddings: the traditional, the civil, and the Church.  The whole process can take couples many years (often the Church wedding is long after children have been born). Nestor and Emmanuela are expecting a baby girl in March. They were able to have a sonogram thanks to Dr. Brent’s portable machine.  It is quite rare to actually have a sonogram, so they were thrilled.

Also two new Missionary families arrived.  They are long term Missionaries who have been transferred here. So as you can see, Bamenda is a happening place to be.  We can’t imagine getting a more perfect fit for our family.

-Joy

Rainy Season

We are at the end of the rainy season, but the rains can still be strong. The waterfalls are just gorgeous now. We can see two from our driveway.

Despite the heavy rains there is still a water problem.  We are often without water or very low pressure. As I squat under the faucet of the shower to get enough water to rinse my hair, I am grateful that the water is at least hot and that I don’t have to carry water for kilometers to bring to the house.

Driving is a bit crazy here, but especially hard when it is raining.

I was walking to pick the kids up from school and I got caught in a heavy down pour.  

Despite the negatives, I still love the rainy season here.  I like to listen to the sound of the rain approaching as it thunders on the tin roves nearby.  I love to lie in bed and let the sound of the rain gently put me to sleep.

-Joy